I don’t have a bicycle. K does. So he thinks it’s funny that on rare occasions where we go rent bicycles and just ride around with aimless glee, I bring my helmet, elbow and knee pads. And I wear them like a serious biker. But all K sees is a little kid trying hard not to get hurt. He thinks I look extremely geeky. So he thought he would go and have himself a little laugh (at my expense):
K ate mussels. Just 2. Unfortunately, he also ate the black thing that holds the mussels to the shell, and now his ass is on fire.
In order for him to recover, he needs to drink water to replenish all that he has lost while sitting on his porcelain throne. He says he can’t make it to the kitchen. I try persuading him. This is his response:
LOL. This is the man for me.
I was taking a poop, and I decided to text K while I was sitting on the porcelain throne to tell him how things were going:
So K has been taking exams recently, and unfortunately has failed twice. Today is his third, and this is how he chose to break the news:
This is the first picture he sent:
And this is the icing on the cake:
Genius.
It’s been a while. Kinda like a roller coaster ride, but a boring one. Nothing crazy happened with work piling up, but then today, a little miracle appeared.
I had a Halloween bazaar today that I went to, and impulsively bought a pair of roller blades. I texted K, and I laid it all on him. And in his excitement(?) this was what he said:
K grabbed my back today… and then proceeded to pinch my back fats. In retaliation, I pinched his, although I know for a fact I had more fats on my back than he does on his entire body. So, in his effort to be endearing, I sincerely shake my head:
K: Hahaha, it’s your back boobs! Your back has boobs! You always wanted to supersize your boobs to a double D right? Now you have it on your back!
He said that with way too much glee.
K and I went bowling yesterday. We had to key in our names so we’d know when’s our turn. K decided to give me an endearing name for the world to see:
I had a great laugh last night. This is the first time I have actual proof that K can be an actual idiot!! EXCITEDSSSSS
This was the text between the two of us that caused a hilarious uproar in me.
I can’t. I just can’t. Stop. Laughing.
It’s not the first time I’ve said this, it’s certainly not the last. I tell everyone with a tinge of shame that I am a pedophile because I am dating an eight year old. It’s incredibly endearing, but sometimes it’s just really embarrassing. It can be so embarrassing that I don’t know to be embarrassed for K or for me.
Today is one of those endearing days. I think K got really stressed at work and went a little crazy on a group chat:
So I decided to help him out with the lyrics, which resulted in this:
Sigh. I am a pedophile.
Why I Tolerate My Boyfriend 